Updates.

Well, the "Motivation" post didn't help one bit to be honest.  I spent the rest of that week in a low, low place and did not really get one thing accomplished.  Probably the most helpless I had felt since being here about job and money.  Although, as always K stood by me and came through by getting us out of the house for a night in Vail and a Robert Earl Keen show!  We both really needed the change of scenery and having not been to Vail yet, when a friend called and said we had a good deal on a room and Robert Earl was playing a free show, we said we're in.  I do have pics that I'll post soon.

Well, after a change of scenery and some quality time with K would you believe I got a call back about a contract job that I had interviewed for a few weeks ago!  YAY!!!!! So, for the last two weeks I have been working for this company who essentially works with a big corporation's in-house legal to provide e-discovery services.  Basically, I've been reviewing thousands of documents on the computer.  It's been GREAT.  Ha.  The office is in the Qwest building downtown and I'm on the 22nd floor, with a beautiful view of the city.  It's worked out for the most part for K and I to commute together to work, well both taking our perspective trains to work but riding to the light rail together - which has been fun.  I've enjoyed working so much and have met some nice people.  However, the job is most definitely coming to a close by mid-week next week at the latest and I really don't get a sense that they will have such a big job again soon.  What I can tell from talking to the attorneys around me, they pretty much have a full group of contract attorneys that predominately handle the workload.  But the best thing out of this is I have renewed hope and attitude to get out and get more involved, even if it is just volunteering AND the paycheck will get me by for another month- Whew.

Though May is literally just around the corner, we had snow yesterday as well as last week and there is snow in the forecast for tomorrow.  We will have the lowest lows for the next few days that we've had in weeks.  I'm so ready for the warmer weather, though I am constantly assured by K that it will definitely be TOO hot soon enough and I should not wish away these cool nights.  There are numerous festivals and music shows coming up in the next few months that we're hoping to get too, as well as camping and hiking and traveling out of the city as much as possible!  Really looking forward to the next few months and know that I'll LOVE the summers here. 

Motivation

Today I am angry, sad, frustrated, feeling hopeless, scared, and ultimately unmotivated.  So in an effort to get control of all of these feelings, I Googled motivational poems because I needed some cheesy inspiration and when in need what do we 20th Century adults do, Google.  Here's what I found:

• 1st inspiring poem, because I did leave my comfort zone but I have failed to capitalize on all the positive changes that has brought me.  I recognize that I'm "waiting" in a sense, for the rest of the puzzle to fall into place, rather than putting in the difficult work of making it happen for myself. 

My Comfort Zone
Unknown
I used to have a comfort zone
where I knew I wouldn't fail.
The same four walls and busywork
were really more like jail.
I longed so much to do the things I'd never done before,
But stayed inside my comfort zone and paced the same old floor.
I said it didn't matter that I wasn't doing much.
I said I didn't care for things like commission checks and such.
I claimed to be so busy with the things inside the zone,
But deep inside I longed for something special of my own.
I couldn't let my life go by just watching others win.
I held my breath; I stepped outside and let the change begin.
I took a step and with new strength I'd never felt before,
I kissed my comfort zone goodbye and closed and locked the door.
If you're in a comfort zone,
afraid to venture out,
Remember that all winners were at one time filled with doubt.
A step or two and words of praise can make your dreams come true.
Reach for your future with a smile; success is there for you! 

• 2nd Poem, because I am feeling like I have quit trying . . . well, I am I feel beaten more or less

Don't Quit (awesome motivational poem)
Unknown
When things go wrong as they sometimes will;
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill;
When the funds are low, and the debts are high;
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh;
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Success is failure turned inside out;
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt;
And you can never tell how close you are;
It may be near when it seems afar.
So, stick to the fight when you're hardest hit
It's when things go wrong that you mustn't quit.

• 3d, and lastly because I should just stop the cheesiness now. . . I know I am my own worst enemy with my pessimism.  I don't mean to push blame on my parents, but optimism was not EVER present in our household so to be positive is such a chore for me.  It is literally exhausting, physically and mentally.  Although, I truly can not stand being the Negative Nancy in the room and honestly, I feel like I do a fairly good job of keeping a positive outlook for my friends and family.  I just simply fail with myself. 

Promise Yourself
The Optimist Creed

Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel like there is something in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living person you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, and too strong for fear, and to happy to permit the presence of trouble.

All of these and a WHOLE lot more are at this one-stop shop website for motivation and inspiration.  Though sometimes it feels silly and simple and inconsequential, especially in a world of constant upheaval and daily doses of real sorrows, it is still important to admit that we may need help and to allow that simplicity and silliness to be OKay to feel and to nurture in whatever means necessary.  So, today I am going to write (not print, or copy/paste) this passage down and read it as often as need be until I have a job.

Motivation is the ability to get yourself to take action regardless of whether you feel like it or not. One of the main reasons people fail to achieve their goals is because of inaction. It's easy to say or think about what you are going to do but actually doing what you say takes commitment. It's not that people have a hard time taking action once. Anyone can motivate themselves to get to the gym to workout one time. It's being able to consistently take action that is the challenge for most people.
In order to have the motivation to continually do what needs to be done in order to produce the results that you want in your life, you need the right tools. The tools on this site will help you take that initial step as well as help you keep going when you feel discouraged. Once those actions become a habit, taking action becomes easy.

Now for a little classic CAM, because it really does put me in a better mood no matter when I hear it or what state of mind I'm in.  Haha

 

Absolutely beautiful day

My day was made by 1:00 p.m. when my 76 lb four-legged sweetie decided to plop herself down, across my chest as I laid in the backyard enjoying the sunshine.   . . . and that is the picture of me trying to capture this.

Oh today has been another struggle between being naturally happy with the beautiful weather and the opportunity to do whatever I please with my day.  Yet at this point, all I want to do is get up and go to a job.  As I sat outside reading last month's (or the one before) Real Simple, that was all about making time for yourself all I could think was "I am sick and tired of having "time for myself".  How ironic, I know.  In case anyone was keeping score, I got two rejection letters today and was not "selected" for four other positions that I applied to, including one that I actually did have an interview.  Another week has ended and I STILL do not have a job.

I did try to find organizations that I can begin volunteering with.  Although, the online application with the Denver Public Library had a glitch and it was not working so I will have to go in and complete that one.  All in all, it has been a frustrating week on that front.

However, it is shaping up to be a gorgeous weekend here and K is off so I know we'll make the most of it.  Again, I am glad I am here but I am steadily loosing faith that a job will come.

I knew better

Than to make such a bold statement that we had seen the last of the snow.  K has seen it snow in May, and gone snowboarding on July 4th before.  Anyway, we woke up to about 3 inches of snow this morning; although, it is steadily melting away! 

Easter Sunrise

K and I went to the 63d Easter Sunrise Service at Red Rocks yesterday
and it was a beautiful experience. I was so surprised at the number
of people there, but it could not have been a more perfect morning to
be outside for such an event, espcially considering last year they had
snow and rain. We got some great pictures of sunrise at Red Rocks and
I was so glad we made the effort to get up so early and go.
After a pecan waffle (for me) and cornbeef hash (for K) breakfast at
the neighborhood cafe, we returned home to put on an Elk roast (thanks
to our friend AB's 200 lb kill earlier in the year) and take the dogs
to Washington Park, all before 9:30! It was one of the prettiest days
in Colorado yet. We enjoyed the people (and dog) watching at Wash
Park, while the doggies made some friends and got some exercise. K
and I got a little exercise too when we rented the surrey for an hour
and biked around the park...it was pretty hilarious but a good workout
nonetheless. It was so refreshing seeing all the diverse groups of
people out taking advantage of the day and reason to gather and have
some good times in the sunshine.
Hope everyone else had an enjoyable day as well!