Changes

Recently, the amount of changes in my life have been coming to mind a good bit.  I was just emailing to a friend in D.C. (who has lived all over the country more or less), what a great sense of pride I have for having made this move.  I literally get goose bumbs all over when I realize, as I often do, that I really do live here in Colorado!  Since I was at least 21 years old and took a spring break trip with a good girlfriend of mine to her family's place in Big Sky, MT, I have had a huge desire to leave Mississippi and furthermore, be in this Western part of the country.  Although, honestly I really never felt like a move would happen especially after law school.  I mean I guess I just liked to hold out hope, but the ideas never really became realities. 

Anyway, I could not be happier about my decision to (1) be with K (2) move to CO.  In my mind they do go hand in hand because if not for my relationship with K, I am most positive that I would have stayed in Jackson, MS forever.  The best part about my decision was that I was completely okay with living in Jackson, MS for the rest of my life, which is a much different mindset than that of my early 20s days.  I wanted to "get away" from everything familiar in those days.  Gosh, looking back on my state of mind then I just realize how naive and fragile I really was.  This time when thinking about moving away, I knew I wasn't running away from anything, rather I was moving into my future; proactively making a change, rather than sitting back and just hoping and wishing about possibilities.  I realize that it will sound so cheesy, but when K confessed his feelings to me and put all his heart out on the line for me I know my whole way of looking at life changed.  Now, of course this was not an over night change but I gradually begin to see my life as not just mere possiblities (or even devoid of possibilities) but true realities that were there for my taking.  K showed me, through his love and earnest desire to be a part of my life and strive to make me a happier person, that I could actually have more out of life- be that in my relationships, job, or where I lived.  Of course we could have still been together in Mississippi, and would have been.  As far as K and I were concerned, we were going to be together it was just a matter of when and where.  Which is where my source of pride now comes, because I made the decison to move to Colorado.  There was no pressure from K, he actually had kind of resolved that he would have to move back to Mississippi, but I was the one who said, "No, let me move to Colorado and see if we can make it work."  Why not?!?, a phrase friends of law school coined our last semester. 

I'm getting so off topic and rambling on. . . .  Basically, I have realized of late that practically everything in my life has changed in some way or another.  And please do not equal changed to negative, I'm simply noticing, particularly recently, how most everything is a change for me.  The other day I actually had the thought that, other than Dixie still being with me, everything else big and small is different.  Ha.  Same goes for Dixie-girl too, poor thing!  I mean the obvious big stuff:  new state, new house, new dogs, a boyfriend/roommate, new people, new hobbies, new weather, etc. etc.  ALL of those of course have about 50 "news" that accompy them as well, just let your imagination run.  I have done SOOO many first in the past year, there's too many to list here now.  It's really exciting and as long as I don't stop and think about it too much, it's not too terribly overwhelming.