Less than a month

Time is closing in FAST! By this time next month, I will be arriving in Denver, Colorado and probably moving into MH's place at this very hour. (Gasp!) It is such an exciting time for me and I am SO SO ready for this change to finally be a reality. I am not a big journaler, but I can't help but feel like this experience will be worth having a written record. And regardless if I ever publish this to anyone, surely the personal dialogue will be therapeutic.

I am honestly so overwhelmed at the moment even trying to collect my thoughts to put down something that in some way flows and makes sense is challenging... so I am just going to quit thinking and start typing, besides, this is for my own personal gain at the moment anyway!

Maybe I'll just type my To Do List... nope, that's not helping collect my thoughts either. Ha.

Well, first of all I have never lived more than three hours from my family much less been "away" from friends and/or family for more than 10-12 days that I can recall. Of course this move will be challenging for me in many ways. Secondly, I do not like being cold (and also do not know how to ski/snowboard...which is typically the driving force behind one moving to Colorado, right?). Thirdly, MH is only my second official boyfriend ever and for sure my longest, most real relationship. Which leads me to my fourth point, I have not lived with anyone (other than Dix) since May 2003. However, all of that being said and acknowledged by me I have not second guessed my decision to move to Colorado not one time!! So, these points are not in any way meant to convey that I am "freaking" out by any means. More than anything it is just my way of saying I am fully aware of these feelings and potential obstacles, if you will, that lay ahead. I am also very aware of the fact that just "being aware" does not make things all better and/or really mean a whole lot of anything but for me I think that being able to identify the problems in advance is half the battle- HALF the battle. The other half is making the best of the situations and allowing myself to feel the unexpected and ugly and scared and insecure emotions that are sure to come through this process. I think it will be important to not try to deny myself these emotions, but rather know in advance that I will (more likely than not) have these feelings but to also come back to my true feelings and bring myself back to the happy realities of the challenges ahead.

Well. I do not feel like getting up and wrapping wine glasses, but I do feel more collected. I am ready to get this show on the road!!